Thursday, November 29, 2007

Q&A Archive: Ignored questions...

On Thu, 30 Apr 1998, robert spaulding wrote:

Dear Xymyl,
I wrote a check for nothing and felt less than nothing, and by this nothingly, and non-receiving 32 pages of nothing, I increase my nothingness beyond by expectations! noughly vacuumi, robert spaulding

PS are there any openings at your university? something in the sports program?

To which I seem to have somewhat incorrectly responded:


If you write a check out for nothing, you will indeed recieve nothing but
also something (that is our 32 page instruction booklet which is
certainly not nothing). It is of course about nothing, that is to say on
the subject of nothing. Of course all this (and nothing) can be yours
only if you actually send us the check you wrote out for nothing.

Often people make the mistake of thinking that a booklet or tee-shirt is
nothing, obviously tee-shirts and instructions are something and not just
anything at all, but (and here's the point) they are tee-shirts and
instructions. There is no way to make 32 pages of nothing... it doesn't
even make sense. Once you have a page you have something.

Nothing is greater than all these things, because nothing exists only in
concept, and to people who think only in concept nothing is real!

"It's" beautiful.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Q&A Archive: The past and future of nothing?

On Tue, 28 Apr 1998, robert spaulding wrote:

i'm glad to see the universe has a redundancy of ideas as i was talking about a web site like this myself about 6 months ago, great to see that you have nothing up and runing. are you going to issue stock? deep space sub-division of nothing? franchise nothing? passports? cds? cassettes? empty promises? in nothingness, robert spaulding

To which I replied:

The web site is nothing in comparison to the nothing I have nurtured over
the years from not even a speck to even less. If you'd like to learn more
about less and less, or less and less about more (progressively) just buy
our 32 page booklet. If you don't get it then you don't know nothing.

P.S. has been alive since 1995.


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Fanmail Archive: Nothing to say...

On Thu, 9 Apr 1998, Ethereal wrote:

hope nothing happens to ya!

To which I responded:

You're too late somebody just stole my car stereo and cd player.
Of course now I keep nothing in that spot.


Monday, November 26, 2007

Fanmail Archive: Nothing to say...

On Mon, 23 Mar 1998, Peggy & Bob wrote:

I have absolutely nothing to say to you.

Peggy S Carlan RN

To which I mused:

I'm not surprised.


Saturday, November 24, 2007

Q&A Archive: What is it?

On Thu, 19 Feb 1998, Ted Brasky wrote:

hilarious...but what is it?

what exactly are you selling? -- please don't say "nothing" because that's why I'm confused.... whatever it is -- be it a joke or an actual business --- it's hilarious!!!

To which I replied:

Thank you for your compliments,

"It" isn't.

I won't say "nothing" because what we're selling is actually nothing. No
cheap imitations, no gimmicks (well, maybe some gimmicks, but
we're not selling any of our gimmicks, we give them away free with each
order of nothing). And we have tee-shirts that say nothing on them which
is something. So, to answer your question, we sell something AND nothing.

Our blatant honesty in advertising seems to confuse some people but we're
sure that it'll catch on (or we don't know nothing, and I think we do).

We hope we'll make money off "it". The great thing is nothing's flexible
and we're sure nothing's going to work for us!

Thanks for your question and always remember, there's something for anyone but nothing's for everyone.

--Xymyl (the king of nothing)

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Q&A Archive: What do I get?

On Thu, 12 Feb 1998, B. Shively wrote:

> Really, if I order nothing, what do I get? And what's in the
> instruction manual.

To which I apparently replied:

You get nothing. and detailed instructions on how "it" can be used to
enrich your (otherwise full and fulfilling) life.

Yes, nothing can be yours, but only if you act now!

Thanks for writing with your question!


Xymyl (the king of nothing)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Fanmail: If you read it you'll see why I chose not to respond

On Nov 20, 2007, at 5:02 PM, Travis Kirkwood wrote:

I don't quite get "it". If you truly "believe" in the concept of nothing, or understand "it", then it should be entirely impossible to discuss "it". There is no need to discuss something that is naught, in fact quite ridiculous since I'm sure we all know much about "it" for as you tell us it is basically everywhere at all times. Even in the case where someone is low enough to discuss nothing, (being truly loyal to the concept) all that there is that they are capable of saying to prove so ofcouse is nothing. Incase you are wondering I am not contradicting myself by discussing nothing, I am just pointing out the absurdity in doing so. Nevertheless, when talking about nothing the subject is naught which leaves plenty of time and space to discuss absolutely everything since it fits all-so nicely into the vasteness of nothing. Well... looks like everybody's wrong.

By the way, neglecting what i have said, you have truly made something out of nothing and gotten people involved. That's pretty sweet. And don't say that you have not made something. Otherwise to all this talk of nothing our minds would be void. Thanks for being interesting.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Fanmail: A few that never got replies...

As you know, I can't reply to everybody who sends an e-mail, but sometimes I like to post a few without replies, just to let everyone know that I care... about nothing. Unjoy!

Wayne said: i have believed in NOTHING since forever its just SOMETHING very dear to me

Adam said: Do you guys have anything, or nothing, to do with this? Check out the link, in actuality, it's a link to nothing, and that's what you'll see for sale there.

Thanks, Adam

Jeff said: Really don’t have nothing to say.

Freddy said: i dont get it :(

Then later he said: i get it hahahahah its freeking hilarious

Still later he said: i love this site seriously and you deserve a hug

gracias ☻

Dave said: nothing,nothing,nothing,nothing,nothing,nothing,nothing

Maria said: hello.