Hatemail Archive: You can't do nothing...

On Tue, 5 Jan 1999, Jonathan Davis wrote:

i hate to be the one to tell you, but you can't do nothing without dying. if you truly want to do nothing don't breath,suffucate, eat, starve, sleep, stay awake, die, or live.

dumb ass.

To which I replied:

Johnny,

I hate to be the one to tell you this but...

You state, "you can't do nothing without dying" which is a double negative. That could mean either you can do anything without dying, you can do anything while alive, you must do something without dying, you must do something instead of dying, or you can do nothing with dying.

Let's examine these briefly:

1) you can do anything without dying

This statement is incorrect. I could jump off a tall building, tie dynamite to my head and ignite it, get hit by a bus etc...

2) you can do anything while alive

This is also a false statement. I can't go to the sun, or be completely eaten by maggots while alive (I could go on and on).

3) you must do something without dying

This is a lie. Whoever told you this should be shot while skiing. I've heard of people who died while flying or falling. In fact, it seems that you must be doing something if you are going to die.

4) you must do something instead of dying

This also is a total falsehood. I could choose to die, to live and die later on, or even to die while drinking my favorite wine.

5) you can do nothing with dying

This also is not entirely correct. Although you can do nothing while dying, you generally end up doing more than ever before. Many a mans last days are far busier than his earlier days. With trips to the hospital, calling 911, often speaking to the police, getting limbs amputated, I could go on and on... I think you get the idea.

I'm sure there are many more meanings for this sentence. You can be sure whatever they are, they will all prove you wrong (and probably stupid).

Xymyl (KON)