Fanmail: Tear duct tribute to nothing...

On Apr 15, 2007, at 9:59 PM, Nicole Davis wrote:

I have nothing to do. Now because of this site, I know nothing makes sense, and I wish more people would strive for nothing and finally we will all realize that we have nothing to worry about.

Thank you for nothing. I llaughed unntil the tears ran from my face annd then I had nothing left.

I have nithing else to say.

N. Davis
A fan of nothing
Nicole,

To which I replied:

My heart skipped a beat when I read your letter which was posted all around the office and even incorporated into our greeting cards. Thank you for getting my heart to shut up for a moment. That moment of silence helped me to see nothing slightly more clearly than nearly ever before. Actually it did nothing for me, but I say that to people way too often.

I'm very glad to see that you have nothing to do and that nothing finally makes sense to you. I'm sorry that you are worrying about nothing though. Although that is our intention with certain people we certainly don't want everyone to worry about nothing. So we will tell you what a disturbed fan recently told us, "if you say nothing, I'm gonna kill you!! haha". For us, the most frightening part of the threat was the maniacal laughter they typed in. Hopefully, this will strike you with terror as well, so you can stop worrying about nothing and get on with your life.

Thank you for emptying your tear ducts as a tribute to nothing. We will erect a small shrine the size of a dust particle in your honor, which will be swept around the office for a minimum of two weeks.

Thank you for your heart pausing interest in nothing.

Xymyl (KON)