Monday, April 16, 2007

Q&A No lack of nothing...

On Apr 10, 2007, at 6:04 AM, Aryeh Lewis wrote:

but... but... but there's no lack of nothing!!
What's so special about the nothing we get when we sign your order forms?

(if you say nothing, I'm gonna KILL you!! haha)

To which I responded:

I would say nothing, but you claim that I will be killed for that simple, correct answer. So I will say another simple and true answer. When we sell nothing you get the instructions. We make no claims that this is an exhaustive resource, but it certainly gets you thinking about nothing and how easy it is to make nothing a major part of your daily life. It includes sections about safety, nothing to do, nothing to say, nothing to eat, nothing to wear, troubleshooting, and even information on how to install the NO/OS.

As for your comment about there being no lack of nothing, I must submit that there is also no surplus of nothing. If you want to get all technical about it there is also no supply of nothing. But we have recently expanded our warehouses to cover infinite space. That means that now all of our warehouses overlap, thus creating the most redundant access to nothing imaginable. When someone buys nothing, they don't want to buy nothing from the guy on the corner who doesn't know nothing, who doesn't have access to the largest empty warehouses in or out of the universe, who can't explain what nothing isn't, or how "it" does or doesn't work. They want nothing to be reliable and predictable. They want to know that they are dealing with the one distribution house that has been authorized to distribute nothing universally. They want to know that nothing they buy is no gimmick, but that "it" really isn't something, everything or anything. There is only one place to get nothing like that, right here.

As for your question in an earlier e-mail question regarding how many e-mails we get each day, we get a different amount of e-mail each day. Often times there are far too many to answer, but other times there are too few to answer. I have to admit that nothing is not as popular as "it" once was. We have had millions of viewers over the years, but people seem to like to see change, so they eventually stop coming. If nothing was going to be about anything (which "it" isn't) "it" would be about not changing anything. Still, we get several hundred unique visitors a day, which is nothing to sneeze at. I don't understand that phrase, but it had the word nothing in it so I decided to use it.

Thank you for your interest in nothing and e-mail.

Xymyl (KON)

1 comment:

Paddy said...

Although I am not opposed to philosophical musings about nothings, and not to steal your authority, or even your celebrity, but I have over the last ten years learned to embrace a pragmatic form of doing nothing while being all that I can be.

I suppose that I might like to accomplish something, but I find comfort in doing nothing, yet my days are so fully consumed with doing it that I feel completely fulfilled. Others may see me as unproductive (that is not contributing to society, or hastening the end of civilization, which they are tirelessly working towards without my help), but some of these people, who are my friends, seem to call me when they are bored.

I never get bored. Well, occasionally I feel restless, but I do not think that it is boredom. Anyway, my friends are convinced that I must be bored, especially since I do not watch TV or listen to the radio much. In fact, I go days and days without listening to anything but my own thoughts, which may seem to lack substance, yet they exude a self-satisfying quality that may be good or bad, but entirely dependent on perspective, and probably in some sort of relationship to the context of both the perspective and the particular lack of substance, which the character of its quality changes from time to time.

I also appreciate that nothing is nothing more than itself, and that nothing can ever be explained to those who will never understand it, but to those that do, no explanation is needed. However, any description of nothing is simply incomplete, yet sufficient.