Fanmail: nobody helps me with nothing

On Mar 24, 2007, at 11:00 PM, jon dieks wrote:

well thank you again for a swift response to my e-mail but once again i found myself sadend by your response and relised i was was going nowhere with all this. but since i was going nowhere i figured i might as well talk to no one about this. no one said" i should talk to nobody about nothing". i decided that might be a good idea so i asked nobody about nothing. and nobody said " nothing is possible" and that sparked my hope(because i was starting to get depressed about the whole situation). so i inquired as to how . nobody told me to close my eyes and think of nothing, then open them. and guess what!!!!!!!! NOTHING HAPPEND!!!! so nobody said to me that even though i may be something or somebody. that nothing always happens. that i should be thankful for nothing. so i will thank nobody for nothing. and thank you for nothing. i sure hope you haven't cornerd the market on nothing. as i like to get in on this action of nothing. i thought about burning stuff and building my electro magnetic magnet but relized it takes a whole lot of something to get nothing. so well i may still dream of nothing,hope for nothing ,or want nothing, i've relised that i am getting nothing out of life. which makes me so happy(nothing excites me). but as i end this i've noticed that for someone who has a website about nothing you sure know alot about something.

To which I responded:

I am glad you were able to find nobody to help you with nothing. And what wasn't said by anyone was also said by you, and it is true. When we are willing to listen to nobody then nothing is possible. I am positively (yes positively) thrilled that no one was able to restore your hope in nothing. And even though this may seem to slightly contradict the facts (and lack thereof) that I have shared with you in previous correspondences, I must say, your story is nothing if not a success.

As for your desire to embark on a nothing venture, we do have what is referred to as a nonopoly on nothing. This means that we have the exclusive right to sell nothing. You may wonder how this could be, and ask, "Isn't everything regulated by the world governments?" Of course, as you mouth these words you will be struck by the fact that nothing isn't regulated by the world governments in some way or another. This means that we stand alone as the one entity with control over nothing. Yes, we are the only group with full authority over nothing. We plan to keep it that way. But this doesn't mean that nothing can't be yours, just that "it" isn't.

As for knowing a lot about something, we have to, we are surrounded by it. But to us something isn't a hinderance, it is simply an obstacle to be overcome to get back to "the cold dead void" of nothing, where we feel most comfortable. We feel less and less and/or more and more significant with each piece of trivia we accidentally learn while educating the world about nothing. Since the blessing is thus a curse and the curse a blessing, the knowledge we take in often times achieves its own negation due to the knowledge (or lack thereof) that is imparted as a product of its use.

People sometimes say that we take nothing seriously. I would say to everyone that nothing should be taken too seriously, way too seriously. And can nothing really be taken too seriously? No. But why not try?

Thank you for your thanks for nothing. Your infinite journey has begun.

--Xymyl (KON)