Friday, May 25, 2007

Q&A Possible for nothing to embrace other concepts?

On May 17, 2007, at 4:38 AM, Nicholas wrote:

Would you consider expanding nothing into not here? That way nothing could be considered no where and make nothing a bit more elusive for the non-initiated seeker of nothing knowledge. Not to mention the economic boom such an expansion could bring.

If you should adopt my very detailed nowhere plan I would have to charge my normal consultation fee based upon a sliding scale of zero increments. I expect that the cost for this endeavor should fall between zero and nothing dollars.

Yours truly,
Nicholas Parrella

To which I responded:


Thanks for the suggestion, and we appreciate your desire to obscure nothing from the comprehension of the general public but we are all about education. We WANT people to know nothing, we don't want to confuse them. Okay, we want to confuse some of them, but we certainly don't want to confuse all of them or ourselves. This idea of yours is so confusing that if we tried to somehow incorporate it with nothing as part of our campaign, it may negate the quality of nothing in the sense that it may assign a value to nothing thus making it seem to be the opposite of something in a very literal way, thus making education about nothing pretty much pointless.

I fail to see how this idea of yours, while intriguing, could have a positive economic impact.

So, I regret to inform you that we will not be incorporating your nothing/not here fusion scheme. We will, however, respect your fee scale as we understand(?) it and pay you zero dollars for your time. Expect a check.

Please keep up your interest in nothing, and try not to thwart the others who want to know nothing too.

--Xymyl (KON)


Kevin said...

How about this proposition regarding your Q&A:

Kevin said...

Haha. Just kidding.

I really meant to post something:

What would you say if I told you I've heard tell that you and your "nothing" business don't really receive any emails at all? That this whole "Q&A" business is based on nothing and no one has any questions about nothing because there aren't any to ask?

Could it be that you are creating something out of nothing?

It could also be that I've made all of this up just to continue creating "something" on your blog.

Xymyl said...

Since I can't even find time to respond to all the e-mails we get, I'm pretty sure I'm not writing the questions. In fact I have archives of the last 12 years of e-mails that need to be posted here as well.

I would believe that you've heard such a theory though, because people are always talking about nothing. The reason I believe you is the same as the reason your theory can't possibly be true.

As for creating something out of nothing, I certainly don't think that I could honestly say that I would never, hardly ever, ever, not do that. But then again, probably, but only as a joke.

Kevin said...

Excellent rebuttal, sir.

In the face of an enormous 12-year archive of ethereal bits of data, my theory crumbles into...

well, you know.

Thanks for helping me accomplish nothing -- it was well worth what I paid for it.

Don't let anyone ever tell you you never gave someone nothing for something!