On May 9, 2007, at 11:52 AM, Steve H. wrote:
I mailed you a check for $20 for a black, size large, nothing T-shirt and I have not received it. I mailed the check in mid-April. Could you please let me know if you received the check and when i can expect to get my T-Shirt? Thanks
To which I replied:
We got your check and we will send out your shirt as promised. As our site says, 4 to 8 weeks to delivery.
We know that is a long time to wait for a shirt, but we have enjoyed spending the last few weeks hanging out with your check. That's right, we haven't even brought it to the bank yet, the extra time we take to cash your check or send your shirt is our way of saying thank you for your purchase.
Remember, we think nothing is more important than a satisfied customer, and we were doing nothing important at the time we got your check.
In all seriousness, we have been considering running our operation like a real business, actually making money, processing orders at greater speed, etc, we even put tee shirts up for sale on Amazon. Sure you pay a little more, but then we send your tee-shirt within two days. Perhaps one day we will just be another big corporation that wastes peoples time at random without caring. In many ways that would be very cool. But for now we are still just thinking about you and staring at your check. It is a very nice check with what appears to be a simple herringbone pattern, but on closer inspection you can see that the pattern isn't connected but then you start to think that the pattern... I'm sorry, I'm deliberately stalling for time.
We'll send that right out to you.... well, give us just a couple more days.
To which Steve responded:
Hey, thanks for nothing! Well, for the time being at least. I am encouraged by your thoughtful note however and will look forward to receiving nothing from you real soon. In the meantime you may continue to gaze longingly at the herringbone pattern on my check. However you will find it even more rewarding if you cash it. Of course that would constitute my giving you something in return for nothing. Aside from a good laugh and a T-shirt.