Q&A No lack of nothing...

On Apr 10, 2007, at 6:04 AM, Aryeh Lewis wrote:

but... but... but there's no lack of nothing!!
What's so special about the nothing we get when we sign your order forms?

(if you say nothing, I'm gonna KILL you!! haha)

To which I responded:

I would say nothing, but you claim that I will be killed for that simple, correct answer. So I will say another simple and true answer. When we sell nothing you get the instructions. We make no claims that this is an exhaustive resource, but it certainly gets you thinking about nothing and how easy it is to make nothing a major part of your daily life. It includes sections about safety, nothing to do, nothing to say, nothing to eat, nothing to wear, troubleshooting, and even information on how to install the NO/OS.

As for your comment about there being no lack of nothing, I must submit that there is also no surplus of nothing. If you want to get all technical about it there is also no supply of nothing. But we have recently expanded our warehouses to cover infinite space. That means that now all of our warehouses overlap, thus creating the most redundant access to nothing imaginable. When someone buys nothing, they don't want to buy nothing from the guy on the corner who doesn't know nothing, who doesn't have access to the largest empty warehouses in or out of the universe, who can't explain what nothing isn't, or how "it" does or doesn't work. They want nothing to be reliable and predictable. They want to know that they are dealing with the one distribution house that has been authorized to distribute nothing universally. They want to know that nothing they buy is no gimmick, but that "it" really isn't something, everything or anything. There is only one place to get nothing like that, right here.

As for your question in an earlier e-mail question regarding how many e-mails we get each day, we get a different amount of e-mail each day. Often times there are far too many to answer, but other times there are too few to answer. I have to admit that nothing is not as popular as "it" once was. We have had millions of viewers over the years, but people seem to like to see change, so they eventually stop coming. If nothing was going to be about anything (which "it" isn't) "it" would be about not changing anything. Still, we get several hundred unique visitors a day, which is nothing to sneeze at. I don't understand that phrase, but it had the word nothing in it so I decided to use it.

Thank you for your interest in nothing and e-mail.

Xymyl (KON)