On Jan 4, 2008, at 8:03 PM, Derek Finch wrote:
I am genuinely and deeply dissapointed. I was on the web looking for nothing and came across your site and as such I feel this as an intrusion on my right to find nothing if that is what I am searching for. You claim to offer nothing but in fact such a claim is by definition a contradiction. When I search for nothing I expect a blank page with no links, no text, not even any color. Your site, on the other hand, is offensively full of content. I am so upset I have decided not to order anyting from you. If you are unable to deliver I will refer your organisation to the BBB and hope they sue you for every last noncents you have.
To which I responded:
I appreciate the disappointment you suffered when you found something about nothing when you were searching for nothing. May I ask though, would you have continued your search forever if you hadn't found this site? Or indeed, would you have stopped searching once you didn't find the nothing.net web site?
I submit that you were looking to start a big fuss over nothing so you thought anyone claiming to offer nothing would be an easy target. I must admit you have quite a pair of "huevos del ganso" to pick a fight with the leading authorities on nothing.
Since you started off trying to find nothing, perhaps you are simply trying to finish what you started. Ideally this would end in nothing. Am I on the right track here? If so, that means that you win if you lose this argument. However, if I let you win you'll lose.
Either of these options is a losing proposition for me, because win or lose you win and lose. Ideally, I would accomplish nothing, yet at the same time I would need to prevent you from accomplishing nothing, not because I wouldn't love for you to have nothing, but because you want me to not give you anything retroactively and it's not polite to try to make people travel through time just to make less things happen to you than would have happened if you weren't out looking for something regarding nothing to cause trouble about. Plus, it's impossible, which makes it all the more rude and disrespectful.
Although my following statements could appear to make me the winner (and thus the loser) of this argument, I must take this tack for a moment. You say that when looking for nothing, "I expect a blank page", yet a blank page is something. My point here is that you really were looking for something, you simply wanted that something to APPEAR to be nothing. Seeing that you browsed the site, you must have realized that no matter how content rich it may appear, we are all about nothing.
Knowing that you knew that you were not serious about anything you wrote in your letter, means that both of us were fully aware that there was no point to your initial letter or this lengthy reply. This means you must have written your letter with full knowledge that I would not reply, thus you felt that you had accomplished nothing by your e-mail complaint. Since I chose to respond, your e-mail did not actually accomplish its intended purpose which was nothing. Yet, my letter (being a totally unnecessary response about nothing) remains totally pointless. This means that while I have accomplished nothing, you haven't.
All that being summed up, the paradox is broken, I win. But in a way don't we all?