Sunday, February 18, 2007

Fanmail: want to be nothing

On Feb 18, 2007, at 11:37 AM, jon dieks wrote:

i just wanted to write and say i love nothing. the other day this girl asked if i'd like to take her for cofee and i replied " i'd like nothing better" i think about nothing all the time and can't wait to do nothing. i aspire to be nothing. feel nothing, hope for nothing. nothing amazes me. i am thrilled to have found your site and can't wait to pass nothing on.nothing's great, nothing is my religon. here's to hoping you do nothing with yourself!!!!!!!!!!

To which I replied:

You are clearly enthusiastic about nothing. This is good, it shows that you're not jaded. Too many young people these days would rather go to a substance bar and drink something, or travel the whole world and see everything, or hang out with somebody and do whatever it is they do. It does nothing for me to see that there are people like you in this world who aren't willing to let anything get in the way of getting nothing out of life, and I mean that in almost no way at all.

As for your desire to "be nothing" that's pretty much impossible because you exist not only in a sentient living form but also as numerous atoms, so, even if you cease to exist as a living organism, you would still exist as compost, ashes, or a display in a tacky pseudo-medical art exhibit. Even if you found a way to perform a multi-phase fission/fusion reaction that would eventually break you down into energy leaving no matter whatsoever, you would still exist as energy, energy that could possibly even become matter again. Don't get me wrong, we would still see such a feat as an amazing uncomplishment and an outstanding dedication to nothing. Even though you wouldn't have become nothing in the truest sense, we would proudly erect a very small shrine in your honor approximately the size of pi meson in or near a local nuclear power generating facility. This symbolizes the hard work and dedication it takes to accomplish next to nothing. This is a very rare honor, and among the very few outstanding recipients are those two guys who discovered cold fusion, and that dude who travels all over the place with the perpetual motion machine. So you'll be in good company.

You seem to have the drive that will accomplish very little, if not nothing at all.

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